Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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