Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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