I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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