Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
