I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
