you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize