I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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