How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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