all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize