I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
They have beer where we have blood.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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