"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
