we have officially lost it.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
the day after is always just damage control
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
