i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
