I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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