We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize