are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
