Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
