What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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