i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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