I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
So vagazzling was a success
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