All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
