I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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