I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
