You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
