I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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