I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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