shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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