:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Randomize
