You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
