So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
