You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
40s are totally the cure
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
