The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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