My nipple is on Facebook.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
