i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
