the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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