Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize