i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
