y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
