I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i will never coherently bang her
I love having hate sex.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
