Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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