i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
