Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
