Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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