Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Randomize
