Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I'm both gender and math confused
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize
