Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
