woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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