So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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