We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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