Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
