areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
