he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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