New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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