wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
